Every woman I’ve ever coached is her own worst critic. It’s not enough that she’s already going through something tough like deciding whether she ever wants to be a mother—on top of it, she beats herself up for not being better. She hates on herself any time she numbs out with food. She’s hard on herself when she’s not the perfect wife, perfect daughter, perfect friend. I’m completely guilty of it too.
So I wanted to take the opportunity to share some simple things you can do that’ll help you like yourself more today. Trying just one of these things can make a difference in your day, your week and your life.
9 Easy Ways to Like Yourself More
1. Make Yourself Proud
The possibilities here are endless. Think about how you’ve made yourself feel proud in the past. Did you create something with your hands? Did you make something big happen in your life? Did you do something even though you were scared?
A woman I coached last week was proud of herself for facing her finances. A woman I worked with a few months back was proud of herself when she finally gave herself permission to wear the gorgeous clothes she’d collected over the years but worried were too fun and bright for her. And I made myself really proud when I finally let go of anxiety as part of my identity after spending half of my life telling everyone I was an anxious person.
How can you make yourself proud today?
2. Honor Your Calendar
Have you ever written “work out” on your calendar only to watch as it moves from Monday to Wednesday to Saturday and on to the following Monday? (Guilty.) Or maybe your planner is packed but you get to only half the things on your to-do list by the end of the week, and then you’re mad at yourself for not being more productive. Siiiiigh.
Here’s a better way: Put on your calendar only what you have time to do, and then do it. Every time. Even when you don’t feel like working out, do it anyway. Don’t feel like picking up groceries as you originally planned? Put your damn turn signal on and pull into the grocery store even as you’re still telling yourself no. Why? Because by honoring the commitments you make to yourself, however big or small, you build up your trust in yourself, and with it, respect.
3. Catch the Black-and-White Thinking
If you’re not the best, you must be the worst.
If your relationship has some struggles, it must not be meant to be.
If you’re not reaching your goals, you must be failing.
Do you find yourself thinking this way? All or nothing? No gray area where you can beautifully exist? Catch yourself. Pay attention to it. Because failing to recognize that it’s not truth, failing to recognize that you’re choosing to think that way, can put you in a pretty dark place.
4. Make a List of Things You’re Good At
Seriously. Write it down, fold it up and keep it in your purse. Read it from time to time. Smile as you think of what you do well. My own list includes everything from loving and gift-giving to coaching and delivering speeches at Toastmasters. Nothing is too small to put on that list. Think of it as evidence of your amazingness.
5. Read a Self-Help Book
It doesn’t even matter what it is, or whether you’ve read it before. I have no doubt you’ll find exactly what you need to find in its pages—if nothing else, the knowledge that you’re not alone in your struggles. Investing in yourself this way and gaining an insight or two will help you feel more love for yourself, now and always.
6. Create a Daily or Weekly Self-Care Ritual and Stick to It
This could be anything that feels good to you. The key is to do it regularly. Some things on my calendar that I consider self-care rituals include exercise, meditation and even washing my hair every other day. 🙂
7. Give Yourself Permission to Feel Shitty
Even if you meditate three hours every day, highlight every other word in every new self-help book and journal your heart out, you’re going to feel like crap sometimes. Who knows, it might even be safe to say that on average we feel “negative emotion” about 50% of the time. Instead of getting mad at yourself for being in a bad mood or trying to cover it up with multiple bags of chips, give yourself permission to feel crappy.
8. Say Yes Only When You Mean It
And you don’t have to give an explanation or excuse. “No” is enough if it means you’re supporting yourself.
9. Spend Some Time Alone Each Day
When I do this, it’s like I’m finally able to hear what I’ve been trying to tell myself all day. Sounds weird, but it’s true. And then I know what I really need in that moment. I know exactly how to like myself a little more.
If you put one of these things into practice, email me and let me know how it goes!
What Women I’ve Coached Are Saying:
“I would definitely recommend coaching with Amanda. I enjoyed my sessions with her. …
Since working with Amanda … I’ve been able to find freedom in letting go of controlling others.”
—Stacy, homemaker, California